S.T.U.P.I.D

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I made a really dumb choice yesterday. For a really dumb reason, and I am paying for it today. My decision to attend CrossFit yesterday afternoon was driven by the number I saw on the scale in the morning. Not by how I felt physically, at all. If that was the case, I would have stayed on the couch, where I belonged. I’ve been battling a migraine for a few days now, nothing out of the ordinary really. But those don’t really go away for me until I rest. Now I know this. But did I do that yesterday? Nope. Did I see a number on the scale in the morning that I wasn’t happy with, and push myself beyond my limits in response to that? Yup. The reason for that number could be a variety of things. The time of the month, the vast number of pain meds I’ve had to take to combat the throbbing in my head, the couple of extra fro-yo’s I’ve eaten because I’ve adopted the ‘I don’t care’ mentality a few too many times recently, who knows. But I do know that what I did needed last night wasn’t what I thought at the time. It wasn’t the ‘cure all’ workout that I put myself through. What I needed was to rest. To come home, exhausted, and just sit on the couch. Which probably would have ended up with me falling asleep, and getting a few extra hours of much needed sleep in. I may have even had a shot at getting rid of this migraine. But instead it’s still hanging around with me today, dragging me down.

Why do we put so much stock in what that stupid thing says? It’s just a number. It’s just a way of saying how our bodies are relating to the space around us. It has no bearing on who we are, what we stand for or our worth. I let my feelings about that stupid number get in the way of doing what was best for me and taking care of myself. Now I’m not going to let myself  get down about that too. I’m going to realize it and most importantly, not let it happen again.

My well being is more important that any number could ever be.