Black and White


6777504-black-and-white-wallpaper

Black and White. Saturated and void. Over abundance and lacking. Two very opposite words, two very opposite associations made with those words. Usually my MS symptoms would be characterized by ‘white’; void or lacking. There is a numbness that is usually present in various parts of my body at any given time but generally my back and stomach are consistently numb. At times, my whole body can be numb. Along with the numbness usually comes a really odd sensitivity sensation as well. I remember several months ago, at the height of a particularly uncomfortable afternoon, I actually said out loud to Le Fiance, ‘I’d rather feel anything than nothing. I’d rather feel pain than nothing.’ Be careful what you wish for.

Something viscous has been happening in my body. Now my hands have hurt off and on since I was diagnosed, so that pain and ache is nothing new to me. But when it began to increase in late May, I noticed. There were a few times, usually at night, where pain would increase to such an intense level. It would feel like it was running through my body from joint to joint. But as quickly as it came, it would be gone. This happened several times, each time increasing in severity and length. Did I think much of it? not really. Did it confuse the hell out of me? Sure. Did I do anything about it? of course not. Just a little over two weeks ago, the pain dramatically increased. And quickly. I was ok in the morning, but as the day went on, the pain grew, until around 2pm I could barely sit still. My entire body was burning and nothing gave it relief. It eventually died down by the evening, but by then I was even more exhausted than normal. This pattern lasted for several days, until I didn’t recover by the evening. I stayed in pain throughout the night and into the next morning. I only lasted a few days before calling the doctor (really quick by my standards). What I thought was going to be labeled a MS flare, wasn’t. My neurologist said ‘doesn’t sound like MS. MS usually doesn’t cause joint pain like that. Possibly more rheumatoid issues’. UGH. Even though he is probably correct about the joint pain being rheumatoid based, it still is so invalidating when I hear, ‘nope, nothing here’. Off I went to my rheumatologist. Off I went for blood work. Off I’ll go tomorrow for results.

I’m not a fan of pain, clearly, but usually I’m pretty adept at controlling it. I’ve got a good handle on getting my mind to go somewhere else when I need it to, I think that’s where I was going with that statement I made a few months ago. I thought if I felt pain, I could control it. But this is different. This is all encompassing, engulfing. It swallows you whole. It feels like your entire body is about to crack and break, or get burned alive. I’ve experienced a great deal of pain throughout my life, both physical and emotional. But nothing that is both at the same time. This is a physical feeling, that also manifests itself in emotions. I cried at the drop of a hat. I couldn’t be touched but all I wanted was a hug. The exhaustion and frustration this brought are too great for words. I thought I was doomed.

I have started to feel better, partly due to another stupid medication Cymbalta, partly time? The pattern of pain began again yesterday however, ok until the afternoon, then woosh! It receded slightly, but I am still buzzing.

Something is off, this invisible monster is still dancing around my body in it’s costume of black and white.

I’M ALISSA!

I help women who have also been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis make specific and personalized diet, lifestyle & subconscious changes so that they can begin to heal their body, reduce disease symptoms, and return to a life they love.hey there,

follow along on Instagram:

This is how I slowly helped myself the most:
Making small changes to my life,
* Intentional awareness to my morning
* Noticing when I’m being mean to myself 
* Noticing when I’m reactive or in a state of fight or flight..

Some “small” ideas for you too:
* don’t grab your phone first thing in the morning, take some deep breaths, think about how you want your day to go
* drink an extra glass of water (bonus if it’s in the morning too)
* get up and move every hour
* say something nice to yourself when you catch yourself being mean
* step outside for a few minutes a few times a day

Small changes add up to big steps forward,
don’t get fooled by these not being “enough”,
they absolutely are. 

Wanna hear more about how Ive helped myself and my clients to lessen our MS symptoms so we feel better in our bodies?

I detail it in my chapter in Resilience Redefined.. comment “Book” and I’ll send you the link!!

This is how I slowly helped myself the most:
Making small changes to my life,
* Intentional awareness to my morning
* Noticing when I’m being mean to myself
* Noticing when I’m reactive or in a state of fight or flight..

Some “small” ideas for you too:
* don’t grab your phone first thing in the morning, take some deep breaths, think about how you want your day to go
* drink an extra glass of water (bonus if it’s in the morning too)
* get up and move every hour
* say something nice to yourself when you catch yourself being mean
* step outside for a few minutes a few times a day

Small changes add up to big steps forward,
don’t get fooled by these not being “enough”,
they absolutely are.

Wanna hear more about how Ive helped myself and my clients to lessen our MS symptoms so we feel better in our bodies?

I detail it in my chapter in Resilience Redefined.. comment “Book” and I’ll send you the link!!
...

20 5
You don’t always have to love the hard action you’re taking to reach your goals.

You just have to show up.

You can do this… keep going 🧡🧡

*after discerning there’s no *actual* issue (pain, injury, illness etc) preventing me from working out, only that I’m a toddler and don’t wanna.

You don’t always have to love the hard action you’re taking to reach your goals.

You just have to show up.

You can do this… keep going 🧡🧡

*after discerning there’s no *actual* issue (pain, injury, illness etc) preventing me from working out, only that I’m a toddler and don’t wanna.
...

26 4
“Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.”

Resilience has become such a cornerstone word of the work I do this past year. 
It makes sense this book I collaborated on with 6 other awesome & resilient authors was destined to have resilience in the title.

Did you see??

Pre Orders are open!

If you pre order your copy through me before October 24th you’ll also get:
• Signed copy of Resilience Redefined
• The MS Handbook E-book
• Resilience Bookmark
• LissMS Sticker Pack (first 10 pre orders)

Grab your copy here: 

https://liss-ms.com/product/resilience-redefined-thriving-with-autoimmune-disease/

Or comment Book below and I’ll send you the link!!

“Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.”

Resilience has become such a cornerstone word of the work I do this past year.
It makes sense this book I collaborated on with 6 other awesome & resilient authors was destined to have resilience in the title.

Did you see??

Pre Orders are open!

If you pre order your copy through me before October 24th you’ll also get:
• Signed copy of Resilience Redefined
• The MS Handbook E-book
• Resilience Bookmark
• LissMS Sticker Pack (first 10 pre orders)

Grab your copy here:

https://liss-ms.com/product/resilience-redefined-thriving-with-autoimmune-disease/

Or comment Book below and I’ll send you the link!!
...

13 0
Struggling to start with exercise?

Try this tip!!

Creating a new habit (any of them) necessitate us to become someone new, someone different than we were.

Because we’re trying to do something different after all.

This is gentle way of starting that identity shift process.

Become who you want to be in your mind first.

Does this help?
What other habits do you need help with? Let me know in the comments!!

Struggling to start with exercise?

Try this tip!!

Creating a new habit (any of them) necessitate us to become someone new, someone different than we were.

Because we’re trying to do something different after all.

This is gentle way of starting that identity shift process.

Become who you want to be in your mind first.

Does this help?
What other habits do you need help with? Let me know in the comments!!
...

31 3
It’s only fitting that I announce my 2nd book (along with 7 other authors) on my 14 year anniversary with MS.

This is a book that I would have loved to read early on in my journey.
It’s about how we moved through our diagnosis and came out the other side for the better.

““Resilience Redefined” is not just a collection of stories; it is a call to action. The authors challenge those living with an autoimmune disease to not only survive but to thrive”

So… drumroll please…
Pre orders are officially open!!

If you pre order your copy through me before October 24th you’ll also get:
• Signed copy of Resilience Redefined
• The MS Handbook E-book
• Resilience Bookmark
• LissMS Sticker Pack (first 10 pre orders)

Grab your copy here: https://liss-ms.com/product/resilience-redefined-thriving-with-autoimmune-disease/ 

Or comment “book” below and I’ll send you the link!!

It’s only fitting that I announce my 2nd book (along with 7 other authors) on my 14 year anniversary with MS.

This is a book that I would have loved to read early on in my journey.
It’s about how we moved through our diagnosis and came out the other side for the better.

““Resilience Redefined” is not just a collection of stories; it is a call to action. The authors challenge those living with an autoimmune disease to not only survive but to thrive”

So… drumroll please…
Pre orders are officially open!!

If you pre order your copy through me before October 24th you’ll also get:
• Signed copy of Resilience Redefined
• The MS Handbook E-book
• Resilience Bookmark
• LissMS Sticker Pack (first 10 pre orders)

Grab your copy here: https://liss-ms.com/product/resilience-redefined-thriving-with-autoimmune-disease/

Or comment “book” below and I’ll send you the link!!
...

33 15
If you like being outside, check out the America the Beautiful Access Pass!

This is a pass for those with disabilities to get into National Parks, Monuments and more for FREE!!

You can get it online or at the entrance of a national park!

Share with anyone who also might like this!!

If you like being outside, check out the America the Beautiful Access Pass!

This is a pass for those with disabilities to get into National Parks, Monuments and more for FREE!!

You can get it online or at the entrance of a national park!

Share with anyone who also might like this!!
...

32 2
This is obvs one option of many on how to help yourself through these moments.

But when you’re stuck in negative worrying, don’t forget there can be a positive outcome too!

This is rewiring your brain in action.

You notice you’re doing something you always did,
Then do something different.

And boom! A new pathway is born.

It needs some love and attention to grow,
so keep practicing!

This is obvs one option of many on how to help yourself through these moments.

But when you’re stuck in negative worrying, don’t forget there can be a positive outcome too!

This is rewiring your brain in action.

You notice you’re doing something you always did,
Then do something different.

And boom! A new pathway is born.

It needs some love and attention to grow,
so keep practicing!
...

22 0
This isn’t a you problem, it’s your brain acting as it should.

Are you going through some change and upheaval right now too?

I see you.

Comment any questions on how to deal below and I’ll make a part 2!

This isn’t a you problem, it’s your brain acting as it should.

Are you going through some change and upheaval right now too?

I see you.

Comment any questions on how to deal below and I’ll make a part 2!
...

38 2
We have a new space for my (free) LissMS Healing Community!!

Come on in…

Let me show you around!

This is a space created by an MSer (me), for other MSers (you) to be able to come together and support each other, learn new tools to help manage MS and maybe find a few new internet friends!

Wanna join us?

Comment “community” below and I’ll send you the link!!

We have a new space for my (free) LissMS Healing Community!!

Come on in…

Let me show you around!

This is a space created by an MSer (me), for other MSers (you) to be able to come together and support each other, learn new tools to help manage MS and maybe find a few new internet friends!

Wanna join us?

Comment “community” below and I’ll send you the link!!
...

16 1
There’s so much buzz about everything needing to feel good if it’s right for you.

Sure, there’s a time and a place for alignment.

But, growth often happens in the uncomfortable moments.

Just a reminder.
Keep going.
❤️

There’s so much buzz about everything needing to feel good if it’s right for you.

Sure, there’s a time and a place for alignment.

But, growth often happens in the uncomfortable moments.

Just a reminder.
Keep going.
❤️
...

32 9
Boating! I forgot to add boating to the list 🛶 

Regulation is found in the micro moments.

Which of these have you done lately?

Boating! I forgot to add boating to the list 🛶

Regulation is found in the micro moments.

Which of these have you done lately?
...

60 8

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