Let’s Talk About Sex


When I was about to start writing MS Monday, and first asked people what they wanted to hear about, sexual dysfunction and sexual problems was at the top of the list. This seemed to be a topic that was extremely prevalent, but something that not many people discussed (I sense a trend here). This was also one of the main reasons why I wanted to start writing MS Monday. To start talking about all of these things that we all experience, but seem a little hesitant to bring into every day conversation. I’ve already covered peeing yourself in public, so let’s move on!

Sexual problems are extremely common in the MS population for several reasons. The overall burden of having the disease can put a strain on relationships, which can impact communication, sexual desire and/or intimacy. MS can also directly impact the ability of your body to function correctly in terms of sexual responses, arousal or orgasm. Physical and emotional changes can also have an impact, such as fatigue, specificity, or self esteem and mood changes.

Living with MS or having a partner that has MS can be very difficult at times. There’s a lot of stress and uncertainty that surrounds this disease, and even couples that are seasoned at handling stressful times can find themselves impacted at one time or another. If a couple is lacking positive communication in general, this can easily lead to a breakdown in intimacy as well. For this disease (and any other issue really) Communication is key. The ability to be open with your partner is huge when trying to manage MS and all of the symptoms that go along with it.

From a biological standpoint, MS can mess things up for both men and women due to The fact that sexual arousal, response and orgasm needs a clear pathway from the brain through the spinal cord, which often isn’t present as disease progresses. In men, erectile dysfunction and issues with ejaculation and reaching orgasm can be present.  In women, reduced sensations in vaginal/clitoral areas, increased pain, issues with vaginal lubrication and difficulty reaching orgasm can be present.

Other physical side effects can also have a impact on sexual function. Fatigue, spasticity, mood changes, bladder or bowel control, etc. all of these other symptoms can have a an effect on sexual comfort or performance. This is another example of one communication with your partner is key. Being able to say that “yes, you would like to be intimate with them but this other symptom is standing in the way”, is so important. it is important for you to be able to advocate for yourself so you get your needs met, but is also important for your partner to hear that MS is standing in the way, not that they have done something wrong.

The treatment for sexual problems can vary. I’ve already discussed communication several times, but it definitely bears repeating. Communication with your partner is possibly the number one thing you can do to change your outlook towards sex. MS can make sex an extremely frustrating experience, but with communication, you both can tackle the issue together, instead of having it create an issue between you both.

For men, there are treatments for erectile dysfunction available, the same medications that are available for men without MS. Unfortunately there are no medications available to help with ejaculation. The process of ejaculation and orgasm are much more complicated of a process, and need intact communication between the brain and spinal cord for those processes to occur.

For women, making time for extra foreplay at the beginning of sex is incredibly useful. This can be helpful for increasing your own vaginal lubricant and also helping you get closer to orgasm from the beginning. When your own body falls a bit short, using lubricant during sex is important, as not being adequately lubricated can lead to increased pain. It is possible to still reach orgasm, but it just might take a little, lot longer than it did previously. Finding new ways to be stimulated and aroused can be very helpful in the orgasm endeavor.

One of the best things to try as a couple are exploring each other in a non-sexual way, laying with each other or massage. Being able to be physically close with your partner in a non sexual way is important, to both the health of the relationship and the sexual health of the relationship. Realizing that intimacy isn’t just about sex, but it is about being close and comfortable, was a game changer.

Being able to say, “let’s try again next time” is also important. I’ve had many situations where no matter what I tried, nothing was happening, and I just needed to be able to say, not today. Neither I, nor my husband did anything wrong, it just wasn’t in the cards for me in that day, which isn’t my fault. That is the biggest take away I hope that anyone can glean, that this isn’t your fault.

One of the aspects of sex that isn’t discussed often is the feeling of guilt that can accompany the MSer. Guilt about not “giving” enough sex, or leaving your partner high and dry. Guilt about not feeling up to it yet again, or guilt about having it hurt and having to stop. I know that I have felt these things, and more than likely, I’m probably not alone. Guilt can be a tough emotion, especially in the context of sex. It can really muddy the waters, and bring uncomfortable and yucky emotions into play. I’ve done a lot of work within myself and with my husband around these feelings. The number one thing that helped me was talking to my husband about them, and how I felt. Only when I, and him, were honest about our feelings, were we able to fully understand the impact of my guilt on our relationship.

Again, I tell you, it’s not your fault.

 

As always, if you want to join the LissMS community, come on over! click here!

I’M ALISSA!

I help women who have also been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis make specific and personalized diet, lifestyle & subconscious changes so that they can begin to heal their body, reduce disease symptoms, and return to a life they love.hey there,

follow along on Instagram:

First, save this for later!

Second, what you gotta know about “managing stress” is:
it really matters how you care for yourself in the moment and afterwards

You see, most of us know when we’re experiencing moments of stress, 
but we don’t know how to attend to ourselves to mitigate the impacts.

It all comes down to awareness of:
- Your present moment 
- How that moment is impacting your body 

Once you’re aware of how the stress you’re experiencing is impacting you and your body, THEN you can start attending to yourself and changing how your body handles stress.

👆🏼👆🏼that’s also how we mitigate stress induced MS symptoms or relapses.

Awareness is always the first step babe.

Wanna know more?

Come to my Masterclass all about stress + MS, Cultivating Resilience 

Comment ATTEND below and I’ll send you the link to save your seat!

#lissms #multiplesclerosis #healingmultiplesclerosis #nervoussystemregulation #stressmanagement #spoonielife #thisisms

First, save this for later!

Second, what you gotta know about “managing stress” is:
it really matters how you care for yourself in the moment and afterwards

You see, most of us know when we’re experiencing moments of stress,
but we don’t know how to attend to ourselves to mitigate the impacts.

It all comes down to awareness of:
- Your present moment
- How that moment is impacting your body

Once you’re aware of how the stress you’re experiencing is impacting you and your body, THEN you can start attending to yourself and changing how your body handles stress.

👆🏼👆🏼that’s also how we mitigate stress induced MS symptoms or relapses.

Awareness is always the first step babe.

Wanna know more?

Come to my Masterclass all about stress + MS, Cultivating Resilience

Comment ATTEND below and I’ll send you the link to save your seat!

#lissms #multiplesclerosis #healingmultiplesclerosis #nervoussystemregulation #stressmanagement #spoonielife #thisisms
...

5 1
Yes I had been moving consistently
Yes I had been eating my veggies

But, the big thing that has helped over the last few years is regulating my nervous system.

You wouldn’t necessarily think so right away but let me explain..

You see, working on your nervous system means improving the amount of stress your body can handle.

And when your body can handle more stress, you can do more things (like walk miles and miles)

Stress is one of the biggest triggers for MS symptoms and relapses, so working on your nervous system usually brings MS symptom relief.

ESPECIALLY when you’ve “done everything” and “nothing works”

I’m hosting a Masterclass on Feb 18th:
The MS Stress Solution

Inside you’ll learn my blueprint for nervous system regulation that I’ve used with my clients.

Comment STRESS below and I’ll send you the link to save your seat!!

#lissms #multiplesclerosis #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemhealing #thisisms #becausems #stressmanagement

Yes I had been moving consistently
Yes I had been eating my veggies

But, the big thing that has helped over the last few years is regulating my nervous system.

You wouldn’t necessarily think so right away but let me explain..

You see, working on your nervous system means improving the amount of stress your body can handle.

And when your body can handle more stress, you can do more things (like walk miles and miles)

Stress is one of the biggest triggers for MS symptoms and relapses, so working on your nervous system usually brings MS symptom relief.

ESPECIALLY when you’ve “done everything” and “nothing works”

I’m hosting a Masterclass on Feb 18th:
The MS Stress Solution

Inside you’ll learn my blueprint for nervous system regulation that I’ve used with my clients.

Comment STRESS below and I’ll send you the link to save your seat!!

#lissms #multiplesclerosis #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemhealing #thisisms #becausems #stressmanagement
...

11 4
Get in MS girlie, we have stress to manage 💅

But seriously… stress management is the KEY to symptom management when you live with MS or any autoimmune disease or chronic illness.

You see- STRESS is where our autoimmune diseases alllll started.

Either due to emotional stress, physical stress, environmental stress… you get the picture, stress is the problem.

And unfortunately- it’s never going away, we can only learn how to manage it better for ourselves and our bodies.

Totally lost on how to do that? I got you!

I’m hosting a free masterclass all about how to manage stress in your daily lives- and in a way that doesn’t add a ton to your already packed to-do list.

Wanna sign up? Duh..
Comment STRESS below and I’ll send you the link to save your seat!!

#lissms #multiplesclerosis #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemhealing #thisisms #becausems #stressmanagement #seasonaldepression #healingmultiplesclerosis

Get in MS girlie, we have stress to manage 💅

But seriously… stress management is the KEY to symptom management when you live with MS or any autoimmune disease or chronic illness.

You see- STRESS is where our autoimmune diseases alllll started.

Either due to emotional stress, physical stress, environmental stress… you get the picture, stress is the problem.

And unfortunately- it’s never going away, we can only learn how to manage it better for ourselves and our bodies.

Totally lost on how to do that? I got you!

I’m hosting a free masterclass all about how to manage stress in your daily lives- and in a way that doesn’t add a ton to your already packed to-do list.

Wanna sign up? Duh..
Comment STRESS below and I’ll send you the link to save your seat!!

#lissms #multiplesclerosis #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemhealing #thisisms #becausems #stressmanagement #seasonaldepression #healingmultiplesclerosis
...

5 0
It’s amazing what taking a few minutes to breathe and reassure yourself can do, ya know??

If you have MS and this gives you an immediate uncomfy feeling in your gut because you never advocate for yourself and your needs, 

You need to come to my next Masterclass:
Managing Stress to Manage MS

We’ll be talking about:
* How Stress Works: Discover how your body’s stress response system operates and why it plays such a big role in your overall health.
* Stress and MS: Understand how stress impacts MS symptoms and why it can sometimes make symptom flares worse.
* Building Your Resilience: Get simple, effective strategies to boost your stress resilience and help ease MS symptoms for a healthier, more balanced life.

Happening February 10th at 6pm EST!
Comment NEEDS below and I’ll send you the link to register! 

#multiplesclerosis #lissms #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemhealing #healingmultiplesclerosis #thisisms

It’s amazing what taking a few minutes to breathe and reassure yourself can do, ya know??

If you have MS and this gives you an immediate uncomfy feeling in your gut because you never advocate for yourself and your needs,

You need to come to my next Masterclass:
Managing Stress to Manage MS

We’ll be talking about:
* How Stress Works: Discover how your body’s stress response system operates and why it plays such a big role in your overall health.
* Stress and MS: Understand how stress impacts MS symptoms and why it can sometimes make symptom flares worse.
* Building Your Resilience: Get simple, effective strategies to boost your stress resilience and help ease MS symptoms for a healthier, more balanced life.

Happening February 10th at 6pm EST!
Comment NEEDS below and I’ll send you the link to register!

#multiplesclerosis #lissms #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemhealing #healingmultiplesclerosis #thisisms
...

9 1
This is hard!!

We feel like “we should be able to” still do the cleaning, chores, putting things away etc etc etc.. 

But in reality- our bodies need and crave rest and recovery first.

If we don’t give our bodies what they need voluntarily, they’ll find a way to make us.

Really struggle with this idea of listening to and caring for your body?
(I get it- it’s not a skill we’re taught)

I’m hosting a (free) masterclass on this and “managing stress” in January, comment CLASS and I’ll send you the link to sign up!! 

#multiplesclerosis #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemhealing #stressmanagement #lissms #thisisms #becausems #seasonaldepression #anxiety

This is hard!!

We feel like “we should be able to” still do the cleaning, chores, putting things away etc etc etc..

But in reality- our bodies need and crave rest and recovery first.

If we don’t give our bodies what they need voluntarily, they’ll find a way to make us.

Really struggle with this idea of listening to and caring for your body?
(I get it- it’s not a skill we’re taught)

I’m hosting a (free) masterclass on this and “managing stress” in January, comment CLASS and I’ll send you the link to sign up!!

#multiplesclerosis #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemhealing #stressmanagement #lissms #thisisms #becausems #seasonaldepression #anxiety
...

16 5
I get it..

It seems like it would be good.

Because others around you are taken care of..
Because others around you feel good..
Because others around you are happy..

But what about you??

In reality, that’s just making it harder for you to help yourself heal and probs making your MS symptoms worse.

I’ve worked with so many people with MS and autoimmune disease… 1 thing (among many) that they all have in common is a habit of putting others before themselves, saying yes way too much and forgetting about what they want themselves.

Feel a little called out?
Then my course Embodied Resilience is for you.

This is a course all about managing + improving your stress tolerance- since stress is the number 1 trigger of symptom flares and relapses

And- it’s on sale for Black Friday!!
Comment SALE below and I’ll send you the link!!

#lissms #multiplesclerosis #healingmultiplesclerosis #thisisms #becausems

I get it..

It seems like it would be good.

Because others around you are taken care of..
Because others around you feel good..
Because others around you are happy..

But what about you??

In reality, that’s just making it harder for you to help yourself heal and probs making your MS symptoms worse.

I’ve worked with so many people with MS and autoimmune disease… 1 thing (among many) that they all have in common is a habit of putting others before themselves, saying yes way too much and forgetting about what they want themselves.

Feel a little called out?
Then my course Embodied Resilience is for you.

This is a course all about managing + improving your stress tolerance- since stress is the number 1 trigger of symptom flares and relapses

And- it’s on sale for Black Friday!!
Comment SALE below and I’ll send you the link!!

#lissms #multiplesclerosis #healingmultiplesclerosis #thisisms #becausems
...

25 7
✨Moving your body✨

Notice I didn’t say exercise, although yes that also helps.

Stress hormones can get stuck in our bodies, our cells, our muscle tissue for various reasons.

Making it super easy for us to carry stress around with us- which shows up often as:

Pain
Tension
Trouble breathing
Difficulty with balance

It’s no coincidence that these are often prominent MS symptoms too. Sometimes it’s hard to tell where effects of MS end and effects of stress begin.

Being able to offload accumulated stress is key to being able to improve MS symptoms.

My course Embodied Resilience shows you exactly how to do this, and it’s gonna be on sale for Black Friday.

Comment ME below and I’ll send you the sale link when it’s ready!! 

#lissms #multiplesclerosis #nervoussystemhealing #nervoussystemregulation #stressmanagement #thisisms #becausems

✨Moving your body✨

Notice I didn’t say exercise, although yes that also helps.

Stress hormones can get stuck in our bodies, our cells, our muscle tissue for various reasons.

Making it super easy for us to carry stress around with us- which shows up often as:

Pain
Tension
Trouble breathing
Difficulty with balance

It’s no coincidence that these are often prominent MS symptoms too. Sometimes it’s hard to tell where effects of MS end and effects of stress begin.

Being able to offload accumulated stress is key to being able to improve MS symptoms.

My course Embodied Resilience shows you exactly how to do this, and it’s gonna be on sale for Black Friday.

Comment ME below and I’ll send you the sale link when it’s ready!!

#lissms #multiplesclerosis #nervoussystemhealing #nervoussystemregulation #stressmanagement #thisisms #becausems
...

9 2
I’ve seen myself and tons of clients through behavior change to help improve their MS + autoimmune disease symptoms.

There are SO MANY things that can help us.

But the one I’ve seen move the needle the most?

Working on your mindset and stress management tools.

We can change our diet
Change how we move 
Change the products we’re using
Change the supplements we take..

But if we’re still in the high stress state that most of us are in.. all those will only go so far.

Stress is my biggest symptom trigger, and 99% of my clients feel the same.

My biggest course sale is coming Black Friday, included is my course Embodied Resilience, all about learning how to actually manage stress- so you’re not constantly battling MS flares too.

My email list is gonna get first dibs..
Comment LIST below and I’ll add you so you’re notified first!!

I’ve seen myself and tons of clients through behavior change to help improve their MS + autoimmune disease symptoms.

There are SO MANY things that can help us.

But the one I’ve seen move the needle the most?

Working on your mindset and stress management tools.

We can change our diet
Change how we move
Change the products we’re using
Change the supplements we take..

But if we’re still in the high stress state that most of us are in.. all those will only go so far.

Stress is my biggest symptom trigger, and 99% of my clients feel the same.

My biggest course sale is coming Black Friday, included is my course Embodied Resilience, all about learning how to actually manage stress- so you’re not constantly battling MS flares too.

My email list is gonna get first dibs..
Comment LIST below and I’ll add you so you’re notified first!!
...

18 8
And my period started to add to the joy 🙃🙃

We can do hard things y’all,
breathe in, breathe out,
all will be well.

#Electionstress #seasonaldepression #anxiety #multiplesclerosis

And my period started to add to the joy 🙃🙃

We can do hard things y’all,
breathe in, breathe out,
all will be well.

#Electionstress #seasonaldepression #anxiety #multiplesclerosis
...

19 4

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