Sexual problems are extremely common in the MS population for several reasons. The overall burden of having the disease can put a strain on relationships, which can impact communication, sexual desire and/or intimacy. MS can also directly impact the ability of your body to function correctly in terms of sexual responses, arousal or orgasm. Physical and emotional changes can also have an impact, such as fatigue, specificity, or self esteem and mood changes.
Living with MS or having a partner that has MS can be very difficult at times. There’s a lot of stress and uncertainty that surrounds this disease, and even couples that are seasoned at handling stressful times can find themselves impacted at one time or another. If a couple is lacking positive communication in general, this can easily lead to a breakdown in intimacy as well. For this disease (and any other issue really) Communication is key. The ability to be open with your partner is huge when trying to manage MS and all of the symptoms that go along with it.
From a biological standpoint, MS can mess things up for both men and women due to The fact that sexual arousal, response and orgasm needs a clear pathway from the brain through the spinal cord, which often isn’t present as disease progresses. In men, erectile dysfunction and issues with ejaculation and reaching orgasm can be present. In women, reduced sensations in vaginal/clitoral areas, increased pain, issues with vaginal lubrication and difficulty reaching orgasm can be present.
Other physical side effects can also have a impact on sexual function. Fatigue, spasticity, mood changes, bladder or bowel control, etc. all of these other symptoms can have a an effect on sexual comfort or performance. This is another example of one communication with your partner is key. Being able to say that “yes, you would like to be intimate with them but this other symptom is standing in the way”, is so important. it is important for you to be able to advocate for yourself so you get your needs met, but is also important for your partner to hear that MS is standing in the way, not that they have done something wrong.
The treatment for sexual problems can vary. I’ve already discussed communication several times, but it definitely bears repeating. Communication with your partner is possibly the number one thing you can do to change your outlook towards sex. MS can make sex an extremely frustrating experience, but with communication, you both can tackle the issue together, instead of having it create an issue between you both.
For men, there are treatments for erectile dysfunction available, the same medications that are available for men without MS. Unfortunately there are no medications available to help with ejaculation. The process of ejaculation and orgasm are much more complicated of a process, and need intact communication between the brain and spinal cord for those processes to occur.
For women, making time for extra foreplay at the beginning of sex is incredibly useful. This can be helpful for increasing your own vaginal lubricant and also helping you get closer to orgasm from the beginning. When your own body falls a bit short, using lubricant during sex is important, as not being adequately lubricated can lead to increased pain. It is possible to still reach orgasm, but it just might take a little, lot longer than it did previously. Finding new ways to be stimulated and aroused can be very helpful in the orgasm endeavor.
One of the best things to try as a couple are exploring each other in a non-sexual way, laying with each other or massage. Being able to be physically close with your partner in a non sexual way is important, to both the health of the relationship and the sexual health of the relationship. Realizing that intimacy isn’t just about sex, but it is about being close and comfortable, was a game changer.
Being able to say, “let’s try again next time” is also important. I’ve had many situations where no matter what I tried, nothing was happening, and I just needed to be able to say, not today. Neither I, nor my husband did anything wrong, it just wasn’t in the cards for me in that day, which isn’t my fault. That is the biggest take away I hope that anyone can glean, that this isn’t your fault.
One of the aspects of sex that isn’t discussed often is the feeling of guilt that can accompany the MSer. Guilt about not “giving” enough sex, or leaving your partner high and dry. Guilt about not feeling up to it yet again, or guilt about having it hurt and having to stop. I know that I have felt these things, and more than likely, I’m probably not alone. Guilt can be a tough emotion, especially in the context of sex. It can really muddy the waters, and bring uncomfortable and yucky emotions into play. I’ve done a lot of work within myself and with my husband around these feelings. The number one thing that helped me was talking to my husband about them, and how I felt. Only when I, and him, were honest about our feelings, were we able to fully understand the impact of my guilt on our relationship.
Again, I tell you, it’s not your fault.
As always, if you want to join the LissMS community, come on over! click here!
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👉🏼Feeling stuck with your MS symptoms?
👉🏼Feeling like your body betrayed you and is working against you?
👉🏼Are you worried you’re stuck like this and will never get better?
I get it. At one point I did too.
Years ago I was experiencing “Aggressive MS” and I thought I’d never function the same.
I thought my days of moving how I wanted, or doing anything on a whim were over.
I couldn’t walk well, couldn’t feel my body correctly and I was SCARED.
But now?
I’m confident in the ways I’m helping myself.
I no longer have aggressive MS.
I can move how I want, when I want.
Because of the changes I’ve made over the years.
No, it’s not easy, but that’s where I come in!!
I’ve dedicated my life to helping those with MS realize that feeling better is possible and helping them get there.
My 2 courses and my membership are on sale this weekend for Black Friday,
want to start your own success story??
Comment SUCCESS below and I’ll send you the link!!
👉🏼Feeling stuck with your MS symptoms?
👉🏼Feeling like your body betrayed you and is working against you?
👉🏼Are you worried you’re stuck like this and will never get better?
I get it. At one point I did too.
Years ago I was experiencing “Aggressive MS” and I thought I’d never function the same.
I thought my days of moving how I wanted, or doing anything on a whim were over.
I couldn’t walk well, couldn’t feel my body correctly and I was SCARED.
But now?
I’m confident in the ways I’m helping myself.
I no longer have aggressive MS.
I can move how I want, when I want.
Because of the changes I’ve made over the years.
No, it’s not easy, but that’s where I come in!!
I’ve dedicated my life to helping those with MS realize that feeling better is possible and helping them get there.
My 2 courses and my membership are on sale this weekend for Black Friday,
want to start your own success story??
Comment SUCCESS below and I’ll send you the link!!
Grab your path to healing!!
These are the lowest prices for my courses like ever, and they won’t be back. (And they’ll prob be going up in the new year- planning some updates!!)
Comment HEALING below and I’ll send you a link, or check out my stories!!
Grab your path to healing!!
These are the lowest prices for my courses like ever, and they won’t be back. (And they’ll prob be going up in the new year- planning some updates!!)
Comment HEALING below and I’ll send you a link, or check out my stories!!
The first step to being successful with managing stress (& being successful with anything really) is:
Awareness of where you currently are.
You can’t change or manage what you’re not aware of.
You can only know yourself as deep as you’re awareness of yourself goes.
Try this:
Right now as you read this, pause for a sec.
Take a deep breath, and ask yourself:
Where were my thoughts?
Where is my breathing?
What am I saying to myself?
Get really honest here too (warning- it might be uncomfy)
What did you discover while checking in? Let me know in the comments!
-
-
If we haven’t met yet, Hi! 👋🏼👋🏼 I’m Alissa. I’m a Holistic Practitioner & Therapist specializing in MS.
I use all the tools I’ve comprised over my 10+ year career (and 14+ years with MS) to help my clients with MS decrease their symptoms, improve their overall health and get back to living life on their terms, not MS’ terms.
Interested to hear how that might look for you? Comment 🧡 below or DM me and we’ll chat!
The first step to being successful with managing stress (& being successful with anything really) is:
Awareness of where you currently are.
You can’t change or manage what you’re not aware of.
You can only know yourself as deep as you’re awareness of yourself goes.
Try this:
Right now as you read this, pause for a sec.
Take a deep breath, and ask yourself:
Where were my thoughts?
Where is my breathing?
What am I saying to myself?
Get really honest here too (warning- it might be uncomfy)
What did you discover while checking in? Let me know in the comments!
-
-
If we haven’t met yet, Hi! 👋🏼👋🏼 I’m Alissa. I’m a Holistic Practitioner & Therapist specializing in MS.
I use all the tools I’ve comprised over my 10+ year career (and 14+ years with MS) to help my clients with MS decrease their symptoms, improve their overall health and get back to living life on their terms, not MS’ terms.
Interested to hear how that might look for you? Comment 🧡 below or DM me and we’ll chat!
Progress is absolutely not linear.
But, it’s still progress nonetheless.
I see you if you’re in a “dip” or feel like you’re going “backwards”
You’re really not, you’re right where you should be.
Keep going!!
🧡❤️🧡
Progress is absolutely not linear.
But, it’s still progress nonetheless.
I see you if you’re in a “dip” or feel like you’re going “backwards”
You’re really not, you’re right where you should be.
Keep going!!
🧡❤️🧡
Lol, all this got me was an MS diagnosis.
This was me basically my whole life up until a few years ago.
My clients have all talked about situations like this too.
It’s no wonder why a lot of us have an autoimmune disease now.
Please, speak your truth. Your body will thank you.
If we haven’t met yet, Hi! 👋🏼👋🏼 I’m Alissa.
I’m a Holistic Practitioner & Therapist specializing in MS.
I use all the tools I’ve comprised over my 10+ year career (and 14+ years with MS) to help my clients with MS decrease their symptoms, improve their overall health and get back to living life on their terms, not MS’ terms.
Interested to hear how that might look for you? Comment 🧡 below or DM me and we’ll chat!
Lol, all this got me was an MS diagnosis.
This was me basically my whole life up until a few years ago.
My clients have all talked about situations like this too.
It’s no wonder why a lot of us have an autoimmune disease now.
Please, speak your truth. Your body will thank you.
If we haven’t met yet, Hi! 👋🏼👋🏼 I’m Alissa.
I’m a Holistic Practitioner & Therapist specializing in MS.
I use all the tools I’ve comprised over my 10+ year career (and 14+ years with MS) to help my clients with MS decrease their symptoms, improve their overall health and get back to living life on their terms, not MS’ terms.
Interested to hear how that might look for you? Comment 🧡 below or DM me and we’ll chat!
This has been a TOUGH week friends.
Don’t lose yourself.
What else would you add to this list?
What helps you when life is super hard?
❤️❤️
This has been a TOUGH week friends.
Don’t lose yourself.
What else would you add to this list?
What helps you when life is super hard?
❤️❤️
I’ve been actively working on my nervous system for the past year or two.
That hasn’t meant that all my anxiety or depression magically vanished.
It just means that when I do find myself feeling like an anxious mess or a depressed puddle, I know how to attend to and care for myself.
Not in the goal of “fixing” per se, more honoring and accepting.
This is one of the ways I help my clients improve their MS symptoms, but attending to their nervous systems and improving their stress response and resilience.
I have so many ways to work with me.. from 1:1 support to my free community.. comment below “interested” and we’ll chat about what would be right for you!
I’ve been actively working on my nervous system for the past year or two.
That hasn’t meant that all my anxiety or depression magically vanished.
It just means that when I do find myself feeling like an anxious mess or a depressed puddle, I know how to attend to and care for myself.
Not in the goal of “fixing” per se, more honoring and accepting.
This is one of the ways I help my clients improve their MS symptoms, but attending to their nervous systems and improving their stress response and resilience.
I have so many ways to work with me.. from 1:1 support to my free community.. comment below “interested” and we’ll chat about what would be right for you!
This is exactly why I do what I do.
Because when I was suffering and going through it, I had no one.
No one in my corner who fully understood.
Sure I had some people around me who cared.. but that’s different than understanding and being supportive.
I don’t want that for you.
I want you to feel confident,
in control of your life,
like you have someone in your corner who understands on a completely different level than those around you.
This is why I do what I do.
Because I don’t want you to feel alone.
PS- My second book is available for pre-order!!
This is a book that I would have loved to read early on in my journey.
I teamed up with 6 other authors to detail how we moved through our diagnosis and came out the other side for the better.
(Also, 5 of the 7 authors also have MS!!)
If you pre order your copy through me before October 24th you’ll also get:
• Signed copy of Resilience Redefined
• The MS Handbook E-book
• Resilience Bookmark
• LissMS Sticker Pack
Comment “book” below and I’ll send you the link!!
This is exactly why I do what I do.
Because when I was suffering and going through it, I had no one.
No one in my corner who fully understood.
Sure I had some people around me who cared.. but that’s different than understanding and being supportive.
I don’t want that for you.
I want you to feel confident,
in control of your life,
like you have someone in your corner who understands on a completely different level than those around you.
This is why I do what I do.
Because I don’t want you to feel alone.
PS- My second book is available for pre-order!!
This is a book that I would have loved to read early on in my journey.
I teamed up with 6 other authors to detail how we moved through our diagnosis and came out the other side for the better.
(Also, 5 of the 7 authors also have MS!!)
If you pre order your copy through me before October 24th you’ll also get:
• Signed copy of Resilience Redefined
• The MS Handbook E-book
• Resilience Bookmark
• LissMS Sticker Pack
Comment “book” below and I’ll send you the link!!
When this is a new habit.. it’s HARD!!
We encounter so many messages that say DONT take time for you, prioritize others, you must.
So.. what stands in your way of prioritizing you?
What is your hesitation when you go take a minute for yourself?
What is the guilt you feel after you actually do?
I’m planning something in a few weeks to help you with just these things.. stay tuned…
When this is a new habit.. it’s HARD!!
We encounter so many messages that say DONT take time for you, prioritize others, you must.
So.. what stands in your way of prioritizing you?
What is your hesitation when you go take a minute for yourself?
What is the guilt you feel after you actually do?
I’m planning something in a few weeks to help you with just these things.. stay tuned…
I’ve found that most all of my clients (and my past self too) would say NOPE, at least at first.
There are so many reasons we don’t value our own needs as much as others, but this is something that def has to be addressed if we want to continue to make progress with improving our health.
You matter.
Remember that.
🧡❤️
I’ve found that most all of my clients (and my past self too) would say NOPE, at least at first.
There are so many reasons we don’t value our own needs as much as others, but this is something that def has to be addressed if we want to continue to make progress with improving our health.
You matter.
Remember that.
🧡❤️
This is what came through during my meditation this morning.
I’ve been feeling so BEHIND lately..
That I’m not doing enough..
That progress isn’t happening fast enough..
But that’s a lie.
I’m right where I should be.
I needed this message today… maybe you do too?
This is what came through during my meditation this morning.
I’ve been feeling so BEHIND lately..
That I’m not doing enough..
That progress isn’t happening fast enough..
But that’s a lie.
I’m right where I should be.
I needed this message today… maybe you do too?
This is how I slowly helped myself the most:
Making small changes to my life,
* Intentional awareness to my morning
* Noticing when I’m being mean to myself
* Noticing when I’m reactive or in a state of fight or flight..
Some “small” ideas for you too:
* don’t grab your phone first thing in the morning, take some deep breaths, think about how you want your day to go
* drink an extra glass of water (bonus if it’s in the morning too)
* get up and move every hour
* say something nice to yourself when you catch yourself being mean
* step outside for a few minutes a few times a day
Small changes add up to big steps forward,
don’t get fooled by these not being “enough”,
they absolutely are.
Wanna hear more about how Ive helped myself and my clients to lessen our MS symptoms so we feel better in our bodies?
I detail it in my chapter in Resilience Redefined.. comment “Book” and I’ll send you the link!!
This is how I slowly helped myself the most:
Making small changes to my life,
* Intentional awareness to my morning
* Noticing when I’m being mean to myself
* Noticing when I’m reactive or in a state of fight or flight..
Some “small” ideas for you too:
* don’t grab your phone first thing in the morning, take some deep breaths, think about how you want your day to go
* drink an extra glass of water (bonus if it’s in the morning too)
* get up and move every hour
* say something nice to yourself when you catch yourself being mean
* step outside for a few minutes a few times a day
Small changes add up to big steps forward,
don’t get fooled by these not being “enough”,
they absolutely are.
Wanna hear more about how Ive helped myself and my clients to lessen our MS symptoms so we feel better in our bodies?
I detail it in my chapter in Resilience Redefined.. comment “Book” and I’ll send you the link!!
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