I felt like crap everyday. I decided I had to do it. I needed to do it! I deserved better than this! Right?
I didn’t want the weird, squirmy feelings going up and down my legs anymore. I didn’t want my legs to become tingly and numb. I didn’t want the pain that coursed through my body so often to plague my days anymore. I didn’t want to stop feeling my right arm anymore. I didn’t want debilitating fatigue to cut my days and activities short. I was frustrated with the way I was feeling on a regular basis. I had finally reached my breaking point.
I wanted to feel strong again. I wanted to feel capable again. I wanted to feel confident of my body again.
Reaching my breaking point took a year and a half. I had told myself I was going to go AIP long ago, but never could quite get there. Sure I cut out gluten, then went paleo, but full AIP? That was a step that seemed daunting. I had only a few supports close to me, the others said things like ‘that’s ridiculous, you can’t cut out that much’ and I sheepishly agreed. ‘Of course’ I’d say, that’s too much. But really, in the back of my mind, I had questions. I wondered if this AIP way of eating would really make the difference.
Turns out, it has.
I have been eating strict elimination AIP for 3 months and all those things that I mentioned in my first paragraph? They’re gone. Yup, vanished. It didn’t happen overnight like some others have experienced. But as I have looked back on the past 3 months, I notice that my daily issues are no longer issues.
I’ve noticed my pain is gone, which is huge. Pain was one of my most difficult symptoms to tolerate. Once when I was very numb during a relapse I said to my then boyfriend, ” I’d rather feel pain than this nothingness” boy was I wrong. Pain made everything in life so much harder. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t sit still. I didn’t want to be in my body. But now the only pain I experience has an actual cause (like the pain I have now from cutting my finger on the coconut cream can the other night, :/ ). But I can deal with it if I know where it is coming from.
I’ve noticed my sensory issues are not longer there either. I’ve experienced burning, tingling and numbness at some points during the past few years, mostly in my legs, but sometimes arms too. Those feelings were very bothersome and made me feel restless. Often they came just as I was sitting at the end of the day, or sitting during therapy sessions. I had a hard time concentrating through those as well. But now? I no longer feel those. I’ve only just started to very slightly as some of the days have been warmer. In the past, I would have been feeling the summer heat and its consequences horribly by now.
The biggest changes? The Fatigue. Oh the dreaded other worldly fatigue. Where taking a shower, making a cup of tea, getting out of bed, sounds too overwhelming. I noticed this gradually as well. I found I started sleeping better (especially after I added my lavender assault at night), I was more awake when I woke up and I made it through more of the day before crashing.
AIP hasn’t been a walk in the park, let me tell you. Planning meals, figuring out what is ok, wondering if I can ever eat out again (#SPOILERALERT: it’s doable!). But I am beyond happy that I fully committed to myself and took the plunge. Being AIP has given me the ability to have my body back in it’s most working form in years. I have been able to function again. I have been able to be pain free. I have been able to exercise again. I have been able to ‘forget’ about MS again.
Will I be strict AIP forever? No! It wasn’t intended to be that way. I’ll re-introduce foods soon enough (hello coffee!) I just want to give my body the best chance I can. So for now, I’ll stick to AIP.
Two roads diverged in the woods, I took the one labeled AIP, and it has made all the difference.