Grief


There are many emotions that come and go throughout life with Multiple Sclerosis and one of those is grief. Some people might not recognize their grief, as grief, and mistake it for depression (which often goes hand in hand) or just feeling down/angry/disbelief etc. But grief in chronic illness is real. Some professionals name our grief as “infinite loss” or “chronic sorrow”, as there are things to be grieved over and over again, as we lose different parts of ourselves throughout the disease.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the 5 Stages of Grief, as defined by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who did her work for these 5 stages with terminally ill patients. Now there are many other theories on grief as well. As no one person grieves the same way as someone else.

Grief at Diagnosis

Being diagnosed with a chronic illness, especially one as difficult as Multiple Sclerosis can be challenging, to say the least. There are many emotions that someone can experience between shock, anger, denial or numbness. One of the first questions that is sometimes asked, but often thought is: “what about my future?“. What we’re really asking: “what am I going to lose?

Grief is a reaction to loss. Since there is potential for many unplanned losses with MS, experiencing grief at diagnosis, even if you haven’t lost functioning yet, is common.

Grief Throughout the Years

As our disease course progresses, the losses start to accumulate. This can be in various forms too. Abilities, dreams, wishes, friends, jobs, it’s not only relegated to disease functioning, but to all other areas of life as well. Friends might become distant, a job might be harder to manage, future dreams might be difficult to see coming to fruition and many more.

Since MS is a chronic condition, the grief process isn’t limited to a one time event, which you learn to manage. Instead, it is cyclical. Happening over and over again, with each new loss. It might even happen from day to day, as symptoms are experienced differently.

Rising Above

Acceptance looks different on everybody. As I mentioned above, everyone grieves differently, so what acceptance looks like from person to person will be drastically different. However, there is a way to get there and cultivate resiliency.

  • Feel your Feelings. One of the worst things you can do is keep all these charged feelings bottled up inside you. They will come out eventually, and probably not under the circumstances you want them to. Trust me, I tried to keep mine under lock and key for years, didn’t work out so well. Journaling, talking with a friend/family member/therapist, crying, screaming, all can help.
  • Manage Stress. One of our biggest triggers to mild flares to relapses is stress. And life gives you plenty of it. So finding a way that works for you to manage it is going to be key. Exercise, going for walks, meeting a friend for coffee, yoga, meditation, creating art, talking (see above) are all great ways of managing daily stress.
  • Re-evaluate and Reframe. I get it. This one is hardddd. You’ve heard that saying “it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you deal with it”? This is what I’m talking about. At some point, we all have to get super honest with ourselves about the future, at least if we want any quality of life that is. Look at what is changing, what isn’t, and what potential good could come out of it. Forced to quit a job you hate anyway? Maybe you’ll find something that is more aligned with what you enjoy.

Doing all of the aboves steps won’t make grief (or anger, or depression) just suddenly vanish. What it will do, is help you feel more equipped to manage those feelings and situations when they do arise. This is a lifelong journey, your relationship to grief will ebb and flow as the years progress, as it does with other emotions as well. Just remember, you’re never alone in this.

I’M ALISSA!

I help women who have also been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis make specific and personalized diet, lifestyle & subconscious changes so that they can begin to heal their body, reduce disease symptoms, and return to a life they love.hey there,

follow along on Instagram:

This is what came through during my meditation this morning.

I’ve been feeling so BEHIND lately..
That I’m not doing enough..
That progress isn’t happening fast enough..

But that’s a lie.
I’m right where I should be.

I needed this message today… maybe you do too?

This is what came through during my meditation this morning.

I’ve been feeling so BEHIND lately..
That I’m not doing enough..
That progress isn’t happening fast enough..

But that’s a lie.
I’m right where I should be.

I needed this message today… maybe you do too?
...

14 4
This is how I slowly helped myself the most:
Making small changes to my life,
* Intentional awareness to my morning
* Noticing when I’m being mean to myself 
* Noticing when I’m reactive or in a state of fight or flight..

Some “small” ideas for you too:
* don’t grab your phone first thing in the morning, take some deep breaths, think about how you want your day to go
* drink an extra glass of water (bonus if it’s in the morning too)
* get up and move every hour
* say something nice to yourself when you catch yourself being mean
* step outside for a few minutes a few times a day

Small changes add up to big steps forward,
don’t get fooled by these not being “enough”,
they absolutely are. 

Wanna hear more about how Ive helped myself and my clients to lessen our MS symptoms so we feel better in our bodies?

I detail it in my chapter in Resilience Redefined.. comment “Book” and I’ll send you the link!!

This is how I slowly helped myself the most:
Making small changes to my life,
* Intentional awareness to my morning
* Noticing when I’m being mean to myself
* Noticing when I’m reactive or in a state of fight or flight..

Some “small” ideas for you too:
* don’t grab your phone first thing in the morning, take some deep breaths, think about how you want your day to go
* drink an extra glass of water (bonus if it’s in the morning too)
* get up and move every hour
* say something nice to yourself when you catch yourself being mean
* step outside for a few minutes a few times a day

Small changes add up to big steps forward,
don’t get fooled by these not being “enough”,
they absolutely are.

Wanna hear more about how Ive helped myself and my clients to lessen our MS symptoms so we feel better in our bodies?

I detail it in my chapter in Resilience Redefined.. comment “Book” and I’ll send you the link!!
...

21 5
You don’t always have to love the hard action you’re taking to reach your goals.

You just have to show up.

You can do this… keep going 🧡🧡

*after discerning there’s no *actual* issue (pain, injury, illness etc) preventing me from working out, only that I’m a toddler and don’t wanna.

You don’t always have to love the hard action you’re taking to reach your goals.

You just have to show up.

You can do this… keep going 🧡🧡

*after discerning there’s no *actual* issue (pain, injury, illness etc) preventing me from working out, only that I’m a toddler and don’t wanna.
...

27 4
“Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.”

Resilience has become such a cornerstone word of the work I do this past year. 
It makes sense this book I collaborated on with 6 other awesome & resilient authors was destined to have resilience in the title.

Did you see??

Pre Orders are open!

If you pre order your copy through me before October 24th you’ll also get:
• Signed copy of Resilience Redefined
• The MS Handbook E-book
• Resilience Bookmark
• LissMS Sticker Pack (first 10 pre orders)

Grab your copy here: 

https://liss-ms.com/product/resilience-redefined-thriving-with-autoimmune-disease/

Or comment Book below and I’ll send you the link!!

“Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.”

Resilience has become such a cornerstone word of the work I do this past year.
It makes sense this book I collaborated on with 6 other awesome & resilient authors was destined to have resilience in the title.

Did you see??

Pre Orders are open!

If you pre order your copy through me before October 24th you’ll also get:
• Signed copy of Resilience Redefined
• The MS Handbook E-book
• Resilience Bookmark
• LissMS Sticker Pack (first 10 pre orders)

Grab your copy here:

https://liss-ms.com/product/resilience-redefined-thriving-with-autoimmune-disease/

Or comment Book below and I’ll send you the link!!
...

14 0
Struggling to start with exercise?

Try this tip!!

Creating a new habit (any of them) necessitate us to become someone new, someone different than we were.

Because we’re trying to do something different after all.

This is gentle way of starting that identity shift process.

Become who you want to be in your mind first.

Does this help?
What other habits do you need help with? Let me know in the comments!!

Struggling to start with exercise?

Try this tip!!

Creating a new habit (any of them) necessitate us to become someone new, someone different than we were.

Because we’re trying to do something different after all.

This is gentle way of starting that identity shift process.

Become who you want to be in your mind first.

Does this help?
What other habits do you need help with? Let me know in the comments!!
...

31 3
It’s only fitting that I announce my 2nd book (along with 7 other authors) on my 14 year anniversary with MS.

This is a book that I would have loved to read early on in my journey.
It’s about how we moved through our diagnosis and came out the other side for the better.

““Resilience Redefined” is not just a collection of stories; it is a call to action. The authors challenge those living with an autoimmune disease to not only survive but to thrive”

So… drumroll please…
Pre orders are officially open!!

If you pre order your copy through me before October 24th you’ll also get:
• Signed copy of Resilience Redefined
• The MS Handbook E-book
• Resilience Bookmark
• LissMS Sticker Pack (first 10 pre orders)

Grab your copy here: https://liss-ms.com/product/resilience-redefined-thriving-with-autoimmune-disease/ 

Or comment “book” below and I’ll send you the link!!

It’s only fitting that I announce my 2nd book (along with 7 other authors) on my 14 year anniversary with MS.

This is a book that I would have loved to read early on in my journey.
It’s about how we moved through our diagnosis and came out the other side for the better.

““Resilience Redefined” is not just a collection of stories; it is a call to action. The authors challenge those living with an autoimmune disease to not only survive but to thrive”

So… drumroll please…
Pre orders are officially open!!

If you pre order your copy through me before October 24th you’ll also get:
• Signed copy of Resilience Redefined
• The MS Handbook E-book
• Resilience Bookmark
• LissMS Sticker Pack (first 10 pre orders)

Grab your copy here: https://liss-ms.com/product/resilience-redefined-thriving-with-autoimmune-disease/

Or comment “book” below and I’ll send you the link!!
...

33 15
If you like being outside, check out the America the Beautiful Access Pass!

This is a pass for those with disabilities to get into National Parks, Monuments and more for FREE!!

You can get it online or at the entrance of a national park!

Share with anyone who also might like this!!

If you like being outside, check out the America the Beautiful Access Pass!

This is a pass for those with disabilities to get into National Parks, Monuments and more for FREE!!

You can get it online or at the entrance of a national park!

Share with anyone who also might like this!!
...

32 2
This is obvs one option of many on how to help yourself through these moments.

But when you’re stuck in negative worrying, don’t forget there can be a positive outcome too!

This is rewiring your brain in action.

You notice you’re doing something you always did,
Then do something different.

And boom! A new pathway is born.

It needs some love and attention to grow,
so keep practicing!

This is obvs one option of many on how to help yourself through these moments.

But when you’re stuck in negative worrying, don’t forget there can be a positive outcome too!

This is rewiring your brain in action.

You notice you’re doing something you always did,
Then do something different.

And boom! A new pathway is born.

It needs some love and attention to grow,
so keep practicing!
...

22 0
This isn’t a you problem, it’s your brain acting as it should.

Are you going through some change and upheaval right now too?

I see you.

Comment any questions on how to deal below and I’ll make a part 2!

This isn’t a you problem, it’s your brain acting as it should.

Are you going through some change and upheaval right now too?

I see you.

Comment any questions on how to deal below and I’ll make a part 2!
...

38 2
We have a new space for my (free) LissMS Healing Community!!

Come on in…

Let me show you around!

This is a space created by an MSer (me), for other MSers (you) to be able to come together and support each other, learn new tools to help manage MS and maybe find a few new internet friends!

Wanna join us?

Comment “community” below and I’ll send you the link!!

We have a new space for my (free) LissMS Healing Community!!

Come on in…

Let me show you around!

This is a space created by an MSer (me), for other MSers (you) to be able to come together and support each other, learn new tools to help manage MS and maybe find a few new internet friends!

Wanna join us?

Comment “community” below and I’ll send you the link!!
...

16 1
There’s so much buzz about everything needing to feel good if it’s right for you.

Sure, there’s a time and a place for alignment.

But, growth often happens in the uncomfortable moments.

Just a reminder.
Keep going.
❤️

There’s so much buzz about everything needing to feel good if it’s right for you.

Sure, there’s a time and a place for alignment.

But, growth often happens in the uncomfortable moments.

Just a reminder.
Keep going.
❤️
...

32 9

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